But my new life. Where did it began? I remember a continuum in which was interspersed with momentary leaps into the questions. They are like, what am I. What is this world? I guess a moment of clarity during my time at Cornell was reading Heidegger's The The Age of the World Picture. It is a vast sweep by genius. That he wrote this is the age when the purpose is the set forth each own vision or idea or even what we would call today products or networks is amazing. To set forth as individuals can as individuals, or is it as individuals in a society? For me, the insight may sound obvious, but reading that to set forth one's own produced in me a revelatory moment. I wanted to dwell on this thought, which is amazing to me in every way. After I had read and understood the article, something in me had changed. It's funny how genius can articulate into words thoughts that elude a constructed mind, wipes clean preconceived notions I didn't even know I had. For it is at once a very simple thing and a very complicated thing. Perhaps he had meant as societies become democratic, as capitalism becomes the ruling order of the day, as science reveals en mass minute bits of information that in some grew, while others become obsolete, that in all these conditions and more, the distinction of being an individual and being a member of a community is at once more distinctly drawn and at once becoming more fluid. Perhaps all these things and even more than I could find in my mind right now. What got me was the simplicity of the structure of his postulation. Who is this individual? To what extent is included as the community? What preconceptions does this individudal have? In what context does the individual set forth? Am I an individual? I am exceedingly ignorant, and this I know, but what else, what other information have I been exposed to, that I never seriously considered and transformed into knowledge. Academic success is a simple thing, though it often becomes a marker of intelligence, of security, of ability, but there are so many way to cheat the system and appear all those things and in truth, I am master of none. It was a continuous information flow, which I absorbed on the short term and put back out as answers to questions on tests and essays to problems. Could I apprehend the meaning - have I allowed the meaning to change me, to transform what I see and understand? These questions then ballooning in my mind, surely, blew my mind, as I find no point of view to rest upon, there were no opportunities to dwell, to transform into meaning in my very own life. That semester I failed to supply a paper to a professor who had been supportive and generous in the years before - I knew, at first reluctantly and then later with conviction, I had nothing for a premise because, I later realized, I was not myself.
Wednesday, October 10, 2018
I have left a past behind to start a new life. My new life starts with me. I am tired of starting from other people's expectations, making goals and even achieving them for the accolades and acceptance of those around me. I came to the least likely place to encounter friends and family. My psychological makeup is in such a way I had always presumed other people's responses and their expectations are more valid than mine. I had gone a way along this way, sidelining the things I feel are important to bring to fruits results that neither please me nor displease me, even though I am perfectly guilty to yearn for people's responses. How their opinions would become my life's focus I don't really know. I thought in paving a route to academic success would lead me somewhere in life. My parents, that was all they demanded from me. Going to Cornell, studying architecture, something I have never had an interest in, seemed like the correct path. My parents were immensely pleased. But one more time, I could develop no interest in creating architecture in the way they were teaching it. Although now an actual interest of mine, architecture is, I think I would not find happiness in this way. Success and happiness are not the same thing; sometimes one is confused with the other. Happiness is starting with myself and slowly and deliberately collect fragments in pieces what interests me and makes me feel elated. It's kinda like love, I boldly conjecture. In your heart you know. At Cornell, I switched out of architecture, though still immersed in friends' projects which I looked upon with admiration and which sometimes called me to be in an honored position as critic. I switched to the School of Arts and Sciences, expecting to explore and find something that empassioned me. Much was interesting, and I carried a full curriculum every semester, sometimes working two jobs, and partied. Partying was an expression of seeking happiness in the other - I was fully aware that it was not to last and may carry detrimental effects. I had not told any of this to my Grandma, but she still insightfully remarked, but you graduated. I didn't realize it was an achievement because my heart was not in it. Beside the partying, which I felt was otherly and so enjoyable to be intoxicated with literal intoxicants but also social freedom. Maybe graduating was an achievement of sorts, but I felt like there are more and more boxes around me, and as I looked into the future, I saw them closing in on me. I don't want my life to be over before it began. Life, being at peace with oneself, doing something that means something to oneself, encountering people before putting up a facade, sincere even if disagreement occur, because it is one's own. There is very little time, yet life is a miracle, an extremely improbable event or phenomenon, so very precious. There is no doubt we live in societies and communities. There are rules and conventions, but nobody has held a gun to my head and insist on how I should live. I have not been enslaved, but only by my own preconceptions. Dare to look outside, I tell myself, can I find people who are in pursuit of the life they are seeking, but how many of these people can see beyond what they have constructed around themselves. Are they conventional lifes, repeated across well meaning folks, but have they seen beyond. We live in an informational society here anyway, the lens with which to view the world can vary: which lens are you looking through? Are there ways to see with your own naked eye, and see the universe and your living in this ever grander world in a moment's mind's eye?
posted by ati at October 10, 2018
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from my interest in unsolved puzzles now found in my work with NASA for the Moon
(gratitude to the European who echoed my sentiments) - “In the white light of Artemis
From the lonely mirror of her face
Man looked down upon the blue splendor of the earth
And for the first time
He saw his home
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I'm moving some new material to:
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A: What's that eagle doing minding a tiny nest?
B: It's trying to do philosophy. - -
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A: Did you get my message that the cooperative registration (adapted from previous forms and procedures re housing cooperatives) could facilitate enactments of open and flexible startup and small business co-working for _wtc? Still recalling a number of benefits towards versatility and smart orgnization.
B: we would be a bit of the future if I had the opportunity and we were not able we just do the next one in a row so it could take us forever or forever and forever to get a better future and then the next year to date our date
A: If too destabilizing, consider co-working spaces and innovate incubators appropriate for first time entrepreneurs.
- From the older astronaut to the younger astronauts: must build a great deal to return to before departure... The message approximately - Everybody presses down on us when we return Not realizing that we already have made something when we were there Which we remember to make and do when we return Something new We have to decide what we are looking for before we leave So that there is something to return to Our disposition and our intentions Our works We always find what we are looking for We make what we find We add a little more”
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- new: For the Frontier Town Proper, Calgary link
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- Where are the metaverse VJ's? Check out my proposal at 2002-02
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- Leadership is garnered support. Who? For there is more than one, and too, not at the same level from the same background.
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- How is the fintech transaction with Hong Kong? I hope it is not another impossible exchange slash nonequivalent asymetrical trade. who is representing HK? Not sure what about them, but they speak Cantonese. My icloud's disappearing photos is also something else they are laying claim to. I know it seems small but I am afraid it is representative of more serious items I don't want to disclose here.
- I am given to understand some do not understand the complexity of economies is grown like old growth forests. They may have come here where I myself am with my builders and peoples to the edge of Frontier. I am very worried. Their lamenting belongs somewhere else.
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- Message
- to Everybody:
- I heard there was a zip file of my civic intelligence notes from Intelligence class by Professor Neisser at Cornell - does anybody have it? My email address is moontraveler at nspace.one
- -
- to FBI at Albany:
- As my father's house in Canada was also intruded upon by squatters, I want to draw your attention to the quiet appropriation of my property and car, purchased for me by my father's people, in Ithaca. It appears that it is a conspiracy concerning at least three persons, and that the theft was associated with the theft of my work identity and other violations of my person. The matter is looking more urgent now than ever as problems continue to arrive to Calgary, related to aggression left unchecked. If this matter may fall within your jurisdiction, please help me in the creation and followup of case.
- -
- to All:
- It has re-emerged in my attention that Cornell has bore the burden of carrying a few bad apples, entirely spoiled to spoil the bunch. This I have had recent experience with, and was saddened to see good apples go bad. I have submitted a report to the FBI concerning what I know regarding one such bad apple, even implicating myself as a victim. But worry not, I had never allowed myself to fall to become a victim; it is only that only very recently was I able to see the full case concerning that spoiled affair. It is at times a struggle to maintain what is good and strong, for even as we wish to least expect it, sometimes those around us will pose and aim to maim.
- -
- to Restoration Artists:
- Thank you for coming by to Calgary and NYC. We have an additional question. In regards the possibilities in greening interiors and maybe exteriors to both new and older architecture, such as skyscrapers or civic architecture respectively - really, all architecture inclusive, were there lessons from the older architecture and gardens in Europe whereby we can discover the do's and don'ts? I deeply appreciate the work you do.
- -
- to FBI at Albany:
- I have incoming. Someone implicated with propagating false items related to what was listed in the early 2010's has arrived with aggression. Further complication with directing theft of my working identity in NYC over 15 years using position falsely garnered. Anything possible?
- -
- to Mr. M in NYC:
- Did you get my message on the 4(+1) elevated intranetwork of information? How is building it coming? I am going to pitch one or more Action Co's when I come to NYC in 2024 probably in Fall.
- -
- to NYC
- I am still in Canada where you know I am. We are encountering a little problem of general influx (10-20,000) from a particular population from Asia that lent cover to some internal affair activity, as well general risk of invasive speculation on what I built. Even some pressure leading to condos disrupting masterplan. (I understand some impersonated New Yorkers) In any case, any long range assistance or info in files from decades previous you could lend to help manage? Thanks
- -
- to Metaverse team:
- Read about the newest super computer at Oak Ridge yesterday with a billion billion calculations per second. We should acquire one or two older super computer for an infinite canvas space to make an experimental lab environment as soon as possible. There might be a hiccup in hooking it up to the network but let's do that a step at a time. Nothing wrong with how we used to connect to the mainframe. Did you get my message about that yesterday?
- -
- to solar panel developers:
- I was thinking about VLA recently - the association came to me. What about very large solar panels for solar farms? Very large panes with semi-orthogonal components (ie. independent circuitry for each set array. Additionally, would further miniturization of components help optimize the amount of energy transformed? Still wavy about batteries and durability of grids, need work
- -
- to Google:
- Just as with Apple, would like you to know for sure that I am not in any way, shape, or form, intervening or intruding onto your company's internal affairs. If my identity was somehow appropriated for unfortunate incidences, please report and request assistance from policing force at the appropriate level as soon as possible. I have not made a single intrusion into the company in the past at this date of April 1, 2022.
- to old school blackberry:
- I'm starting a little design firm and have ideas on a business roll-out
- -
- to canadian architects:
- To consider infrastructure upgrades at scale, we should think about asking our higher learning institutions to help prepare a large catalog of possible future oriented technological and natural infrastructural features, and ask the government for a desk and cabinet to hold and organize the content. This could be for future use.
- to Intelligence Man:
- When are you coming back? We need to talk about how to canvass new agents for new intelligence on how to bring up morale and state of information concerning COVID. Have to meet on Unit unless you want to meet outside and bring me a pack of Marlboro Reds - joking. Essentially, it comes down to such - we must examine how to enter a de-escalation pattern, and immediately begin on collecting information (or intel, if you'd like), from successful communities on how to ward off problems arriving at hand. Later, and only later, could public service announcements be looked at.
- to researcher who dropped by:
- there are one or two items
- what about porting of ai (like sim of big bang) or some component thereof, for the use of the console for astronauts and travellers in space?
- to my friends at WGM:
- Thanks for coming by. As much as the attempt was made to approach business, the affairs of the day took hold. We remain interested as a project of scale and design will soon commenced at the initial design stage. As before, but now situating within a larger design(s). Your expertise of building upon the water will be greatly valued, as will the experience in energy. The placement of the design is undergoing some turbulence, but it should be sufficiently close to shore unless a distance from shore were viable. Could, as an aside, also use advice on a small project also to be built on water, very close to shore, just at the edge of the architectural discipline. Plesae contact me directly at my cel unless you do not mind waiting as I may still return to the office if you are still there. Thank you for your attention.
- -
- to my friends from and or with the trade center:
- Don't follow me in not considering my own well being first.
- But if you are too brave, do check out Lucky 7 Barber, the local flavor.
- thanks for working with me on multiple items that day and then the other day. i know of two buildings where a desk or small office is possible. there is also where i have a small desk and a few shelves. please visit me directly - i think i should recognize you if you are still in town. if you stay and or i stay, it is possible you could help me secure what i need to maintain, sustain, and hopefully settle business appropriate here. as you may remember, there are at least two which has had much investment in time and energy. deliberative enough, i think, for the folks here. i think i recognize our people but i can't be sure. there is an item in additionally if you are here... We are going to need your ability to connect for consultations at the very least. Hope I have not destabilize with this quick note.
- thanks for being here so many times over the years. i hope next time we should have a word. if there is a matter at hand requiring my attention, do so bring it to my attention as you wish. :)
- let me continue to attempt to recall and at once refresh my memory with and without the aid of objects. there is a requirement for the critical mass for the inertia from which impulse could be drawn: it is hoped this all shall be sufficient for a duration in time. reading materials are not unwelcomed at all. search and discover_ still awaiting the documents requested in September or early October
- -
- to google maps and or apple:
- i was the first to put maps on my ipod. you remember, i was influential at the time over there. please deposit into my paypal so i can buy books. to google - any insights into how to construct an outer space oriented mappable-constructable space? there is a new project started many years ago.
- -
- to friend [A]rchitect(s):
- we have had a better problematic . apologize in advance in assuming you knew all this time. we will all find a new way if we each make our own new ways. ...maybe we'll get a chance to sit together for tea
- -
- to my friend with the paper:
- In regard the matter of the 4+1 item, what of the coordinative powers towards new sats. Previously discussed was one and only one, but perhaps with long term coordination, the orientational powers of such projects adapted with futures and environments in mind... A multi-dimensional dialog has to be at hand.
- -
- to my friends:
- continuing gratitude for bringing the items aiding me in my quest to recall my and our heritage and lineage - i continue to hope not only will we keep making the new but also that we could communicate our journey and vision
- -
- to my brother architect:
- You should know, I haven't arrived wherever you are . Also, I still have not given formal response to request for me to receive Order of Canada medal per se, nor have I nominated you. I miss you. Advise if you want. PS. I have yet to make heads or tails over which place we could meet in but there is a boardroom at that place before.
- -
- to Professor:
- Please make another CD ASAP and put it on Spotify. Also I would like to print out sheets for writing scores when I get my keyboard and or a composing software for a mac with piano violin and flute and maybe cello and voice. No sax I promise myself.
- -
- \/Return files ASAP. Especially "-on orienting networks of trade". Each word was carefully chosen to be a proposition to be followed. Each proposition is so concise precisely because each one is composed from the condensation of many years of work. They are concepts which could be developed by myself and those who work closely with me, after all these years. I typically draw out a concept one single time due to the difficulty of recollecting an entirety. If you have only just arrived, please know your place and retain it as a bystander unwelcomed in intervention. With that particular post, the hacked post does not even have complete sentences, changed instead to comprise of fake ineffective commands serving no purpose. To whoever took the post, what are you going to do with something you have never worked on?
- Stop truncating the front page, I require review at a glance in the morning.
- Private response 20211006
- Looking still towards developing in interior provinces or cross the border. Circumstances where I am: unfavorable. A particular item, the talent and expertise I most seek after find circumstances impossible to remain in place. No amount of medical care could compensate at all for the potential lost here.
- Request
- I'd like a contract or endorsement Gatorade and Marlboro.
- -
- The documents? Interested in knowing categories of documents. May like to peruse non-alarmist memos unless certain alarmist memos have been highly regarded.
- -
- Please return my Moleskin notebook. I greatly appreciate its craft and history, having apparently originated in the mid-late 1800's in Europe and would like to hear more if this were by a true account
- -
-
that he opened this round against me by stealing my work is without a doubt: i did withdraw from the university when it became clear that he cannot be stopped in whose greed and irrationality. **As above before, suggestions? *** the name upon which havoc was caused and i was harmed - and another name as well as it turned out. the actual person of the former: the noise that can deafen by vibrations to the ear drums
---must report those reports on his acts of cruelty to policing force properly > to whom did this identity originally belong to? to those in the know: if his intention is to enslave in general, where should we put him - perhaps it's more a corruption of younger minds. if it is true he killed systematically in ithaca, there should be files at the closeby fbi
- Log
- -
- Thinking about coupling American infrastructure and Space upon the premise the state of extreme conflict is not necessary to the extraordinary.
- -
- Unclear what tomorrow holds but nothing prepared me for the revelation that came recently when I was away. Since I came into the health facility my memory declined somewhat suddenly. Friends who have been by did not feel comfortable to stop. Others unsure they were my friends did. Files came but left. Still holding onto that tomorrow shall be better. Disheartened a friend will not listen to well founded advice. Must stay calm before a storm brewing. The cold here was very still today. Examining the log in nautical history - compass, log-and-line, traverse board, half-hour hour glass, the plot and the log.
- -
- Loved the cigarette filters made of fibres. One day, I thought, I will collect them and make brushes out of them. A new ink, too. Please put to manufacture at the right scale.
- -
- Wondering what parking a web domain could indicate. What could be indicated on a redirection page? I have now started on a few small scale designs. I am hoping they are good enough to pay tribute to those architects and their work which I love and admire. I miss the drawings I made with chalk that did go missing but hope I can return to this set soon as preparations had been a long time coming. They are of ephemerality and materiality as themes. Sometimes when photographed with a digital camera, they appear like paintings made with oil. Thank you for those who dropped off eccentric objects there.
- -
- Re media facades: Simply put, I can solve no further problems not already set forth in my work apropos - this especially including building or making any referrals to make some media facade architectural feature, which to someone in my position of work, is just another infinite problem set. Leave my friends alone. Don't hurt us anymore just because someone built an ultramodern architectural feature (inappropriate and impossible for a traditional architect like myself to advance with no further adieu).
- -
- Regarding the Leap into Space - it was always a leap for everybody involved. with the constraints, we always had to take the risks and not be completely satisfied before taking the Leap.
- -
- Concerning how to bring new forms of energetic communication and transactions into public spheres: I received a book about public choice from a Canadian institute and I think inclusive public representation particular to special ways of being is a hard problem.
- -
- Re multiplicity in interpretations of ultra-modern architectural features as architecture: Lately when I reflect upon the sustainable media facade that I brushed up against so many years ago, the thought keeps occurring to me that there would be great gains should solar panels become much more efficient and more affordable and accessible here. (The original built facade was driven in part by solar panels embedded in each panel) I also wonder whether our electrical grids are equipped to accept excess energy to streamline the decrease of energy production needs and to supply for new forms of electricity needs such as an upgraded or interposed grids for EVs. Onwards!
- Diary
- -
- Founded my nano design firm Est. 2022
- -
- Received registration certification from NY for my space logic and abstraction company.
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